Ch-ch-ch-changes

Hello neglected readers! As you have probably noticed I have been neglecting my blogging duties. I have been in a funk. For that I am sorry. Sorry to you and sorry to myself. Maybe that is why I have been in this phase, I've been feeling too sorry for myself! I'm done with that, it is no fun!I feel like I've been under the surface, and for the first time I have emerged, come up for air. I've forgotten just how sweet it tastes, and the beauty of things! Over the last few months I have endured money problems, major family issues, and (sigh...)boy troubles (that seems so trivial, but can really put you off kilter). So, now I'm taking a breath, appreciating it as it enter my lungs, and can actually feel it spreading right down to my toes!

Since my last blog (the desperately sad update) I have had, yet again more changes in my life. I think they are for the better this time.

New job now! As I am still uncomfortable about staying @ the last job for a mere 7 months, I can now fully appreciate my current job! I am a nurse in the trauma intensive care unit @ UT hospital. (Saying it out loud makes me feel important!). It is going great. I work 7 days on, followed by 7 days off. It is night shift, which is bitter sweet. I enjoyed sleeping @ night and feeling normal, but I think I may be a night-shifter @ heart. I see terribly sad things, tragedies that you can only hold your breath and pray you never experience first hand. But @ the same time, I feel blessed to be a part of trying to put them back together. Even if the outcome is less than favorable, I know first hand that person, that soul got every imaginable opportunity @ another chance. Sometimes you don't get a second chance and for that, I am sad. But it just makes you appreciate the important things. I'm not going to pretend I won't still take advantage of things and get caught up in the petty unimportant things, I am only human. But for now it is like seeing things clearly for the first time, appreciating the beauty and gift things hold.

I was up last night thinking about this blog and didn't even realize how theraputic it is for me. It seems like I don't realize things until I articulate them into words. Words that I can see, know that I have written and it is like something foreign hits home.I didn't know what I was going to say when I started typing, just let my mind wander. Even as I am writting this now, I didn't know I felt this way until the words poured out of me. From my mind to to my finger tips. Then reading them outloud, realizing the honesty I didn't know was lost inside me the entire time.

As I'm sure I have bored you long enough, just know I am back. This is Bethany, you may not have seen her for awhile (I surely haven't). But it is great to meet you!

Have a blessed day and a safe holiday weekend!